Tear Stains

The other night our group got together and one of the things that was said has really stuck with me for the last week. It was what Pete Briscoe had said in his sermon. He prayed that what broke God's heart, would break his too.
Today I had a strange thought. What if tears were ink instead of water? What if we couldn't wipe our tears away and they left behind a mark on our face? Then I pictured all the inky faces I would see on EVERY person I saw! Including mine!
What would happen if tears were out in the open? Would we realize how common tears are? Or would we just grow used to them, not even noticing anymore?
I don't need to see people's tears to know that they have cried. I want what would break God's heart to break mine too. I pray that I become more sensitive to the invisible tears around me.
God asks us to weep with those who weep and laugh with those laugh...rejoice with them. Jesus always shared concern, sympathy, empathy with those who wept. And he also shared joy, hope, and laughter.
Let's each pray to see beyond the surface and to minister to those whose tears are invisible and to increase the joy of those around us by being joyful with them.

The TWO sides of being ALONE

To express the pain of being alone is "loneliness." To express the glory of being alone is "solitude."
Loneliness is pretty common these days and is increasing more and more. As common as single parenting is, many kids are lonely because their parents are busy working. Many elderly people are shut in their homes and are alone and lonely while the world outside keeps moving. There are many causes & reasons people isolate themselves and the result of that is loneliness. We were created to be relational and loneliness is not okay within us.
Solitude on the other hand, is when you finally get home from a busy day and turn down the noise and curl up with a good book. The joy of being alone is time for yourself to unwind & relax. A young mother looks forward to having some alone time after the kids go to school or when they go to bed in the evening.
Jesus often went off alone to pray and to meditate. He did this not just to get away from people. He did this so that He could be with God. He sought out his heavenly Father, he listened to him, he communed with him. We would do well by following his example. He beckons us to do the same. Not just for seeking times of solitude, but also when loneliness tries to invade us.
Jesus himself is never alone. He is not all by himself. He never feels loneliness, because God has always been a fellowship. He has always been Trinity- the Father, Son, and the Holy Spirit.
Jesus promises us that He will never leave us nor forsake us. With Him we are never alone.

The Firm Hand of the Father

My daughter told me that my grandson refuses to hold her hand. Still, she reaches for his hand and gets a firm grip and he struggles to break free of it so he can move ahead to do what ever he wants to do.
When my grandson came to visit with us, there were many circumstances that he needed for me to hold his hand. When walking around the swimming pool I held his hand, when we went walking down the sidewalk I held his hand, & when getting up and down on the kiddie rides at Chucky Cheese I held his hand.
He sure didn't like anyone to firmly hold his hand. The little guy is not even two years old yet! YOU HAVE TO HOLD HIS HAND!
From the day we are born, we spend alot of time trying to do things our own way. It seems that during the most difficult times we fight the hardest to be independent.
That's when God reaches out and holds onto us even tighter. He knows when we need His hand the most, and he refuses to let go of us.
Have you come to understand His love for you to the degree that you understand the protection in His hand and instead of feeling restrained, you ask for it on a daily basis?

Faithful until the End

Have you ever watched a football game or some other kind of team sport and all through the game one team is way ahead of the other team except during the last 60 seconds? They got over confident and lacked in dedication and lost. That is such a drag!

Lots of us have been there. We have lost because of our unfaithfullness or overconfidence. It brings feelings of frustration and sadness.

Lots of things we do in life start out well, then after a time we can get distracted, we slip and finally fail. We start out doing our very best but then we grow indifferent and unfaithful. It happens with college students, a new job, a new marriage, a team game...

I read this in Eccl. 7:8 "the end of a matter is better than it's beginning, and patience is better than pride." The Lord Jesus has said ," Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you the crown of life" Rev. 2:10

What are You & I believing God for?

Let's get to the specifics. What are you & I believing God for? He knows the beginning and the end. It's already in the past what your believing God for! He said he is only interested in your good and that when you have your eyes focused on Him, He can move mountains. I mean, He put the moon and stars in space. He created the heavens & the earth and everything in it. He only has to say ONE WORD ..and it was spoken into being. He is the WORD that became flesh and walked among us.
Pray as if it already is a reality. It's not God's will that someone should die of cancer. It's not God's will that we should be filled with fear. Do you have faith as small as a mustard seed? Do you believe God is bigger than any of your problems? Do we want to wonder around wondering for 40 years if God can do what He says He can do & miss the Promised Land? Why I ask...do we have such a hard time believing? It's a matter of trust...it's a matter of little, great, or perfect faith in God. Little Faith says "I will pray about that." Great Faith says "I believe God can do that." Perfect Faith says " It's a done deal!"

I'm making a declaration right now! I'm believing in Perfect Faith that God will move what He knows needs moving in our lives. I'm believing God for all the things my husband & I prayed about tonight. We wrote them all down on paper & tucked them into our bible to give to Him, and as visual reminder for us. I'm believing The Brook Ministries Golf Tournament & Motorcycle Tour will be a huge overwhelming success and glory upon glory....victory upon victory God reigns! All for His Glory! We will be overwhelmed of how his plan unfolds as He makes our way to Costa Rica !
We believe Him! I'm believing in the plans He's got in store for me and my household & The Brook Ministries. One day we will be looking back to marvel at the work of the Lord & all that He set in place for The Brook. It's so exciting what is happening now! I'm praising Him NOW! Pastors will come from all over the world to receive what they need from the Lord after having spent time at The Brook.
I also believe there is no accident in your reading this. What are you believing in God for?
Just remember, sometimes the teacher does no talking when the test is given out!


Mark 11:23
"Have faith in God," Jeus answered. "I tell you the truth, if anyone says to this mountain, "Go, throw yourself in to the sea", and does not doubt in his heart but believes that what he says will happen, it will be done for him. Therefore whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.

Romans 4:17
The God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.

Hebrews 11:6
Without Faith it is impossible to please God

The second Journey

The second journey brings fresh purpose than ever before. The second journey begins when one recognizes that their faith must be alive & growing in wisdom. They have come to the place that they will risk failure in order to grow and that failure must be risked no matter how many times we mess things up. Without going into a great amount of lengthy detail, I've messed up so many times. Recently, I read in a book that God expects more failure from me then I do myself, & yet He still chooses to work in my weak and sinful heart, challenging me to greater faith & greater love. God's love for us is so outrageous! I don't have to grow, change, or be good to be loved.
I know there is a limited amount of time to accomplish the vision God has spurred on in my heart & has been cultivating for some time. Ready or not, HEAR it comes! He takes us as we are and doesn't condemn us. Like the prodigal son, His Father and ours welcomes us with open arms even when we haven't acknowledged our own sinful ways. We come to Him hungry and thirsty like the prodigal son who came back home just to stay alive. Our Father prepares a feast for us and is just so glad we are back.
The second journey calls me to live a life that truly counts. To have a deeper commitment of faith in God and only want what He wants and nothing more. To understand deeply His heart of love for me as I embrace it,trust it completely, and live it outside of myself wherever He brings me to share it. I must GO!

The Poor in Spirit

I was reminded of who the poor in spirit are tonight.
It wasn't the "issues" it was the honesty that brought about
the flow of Grace!
I was reminded by these teens...that are ready for the Kingdom of God
beautiful transparency from the desire to commune with God
the poor in spirit throwing themselves at the mercy of the Father.
They have owned up to their powerlessness & helplessness
are becoming to the knowledge that God is making something beautiful
out of them.
Confession is something we do not just do to be forgiven, but we do it because we are forgiven...drawing us ever closer to Jesus Christ who loved us first...sinners saved by Grace.

LIFE HURTS -G.O.D. H.E.A.L.S

Tonight at LHGH the session was just awesome! Vanda was such a natural at speaking to the students. She presented the Lesson so well & got the students attention right from the start. Then, Tonya gave her testimony for the first time since her near fatal car accident 4 years ago. This is just the beginning of her sharing her testimony! It is incredible that tonight because of her testimony, it will change the lives of those students and go with those students the rest of their lives. What an impact she made! The Lord gave her the words and they spilled out effortlessly with such passion & mercy. I was so reminded how I take for granted the hands I have that move, that I have feet that can walk, & a host of other things I take for granted; which I have quite a bit lately. Then to top it all off, Rebecca sang a song that quickened each of our hearts and brought glory and honor to our God! Lots of thanking and praise after this. Then, all the leaders went to small group with their students as I assisted Tonya and her sister Tasha to the door they had come in. Meanwhile, we once again combined 2 girl groups and I found out what the Lord's roll has been for me all along. The whole experience was truly humbling.
We were all so blessed tonight in different ways & the Lord gave to each according to what they needed. I can't even begin to say in words how wonderful it is to see, to share, & to be apart of what God is doing in the students lives. There is no greater joy than to help another, encourage another, lift another up, and to sit back and see what God does in a person's heart. God is so good! I am truly grateful for all the leaders, Tonya, Rebecca, & Dan.
Thank you for the blessings. It was truly awesome!

Pondering visible and invisible: The Inner Life

I started meditating on Psalm 1 yesterday and the inner life with God is like a constant flow of himself poured into us. His Word brings understanding of His nature, His goodness, and love for us. Without God's love streamed into our hearts and minds, we would dry up like a withered leaf. This inner life is our delight day and night and in time it produces His peace, His patience, His love for others, & all the other fruits of His spirit in us. And from this constant flow, more fruit multiplies as He perfects us. All this takes place living in a visible world living the inner invisible life.
We live in a visible world. Every where you go and everything you see brings us great challenge to "live in this world, but not be of it." This world can be overwhelming with everything we see & read of the so-called real world. For surely, it will all pass away. I was reflecting on what it would be like if Jesus walked down the street. Would people even if they saw Him with their own eyes, believe that it was Him? Then I thought about the two guys going down the road to Emmaus and it struck me! These two men didn't recognize Jesus because He didn't want them to. He wanted them to know Him and who He was not by seeing Him, but by hearing His words in their hearts and minds.
That's it! That's the inner Life! That was the whole point. WE are to fix our eyes on what is not seen! What was unseen visibly was the burning in their hearts! Jesus was talking to them, sharing His word with them.
BELIEVE WITHOUT SEEING!
The inner life is a life of deep humility in learning spiritual truth with utter dependence of God's ministry in our hearts.
"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe" John 20:29
Then it came...God's word came to me...one of my favorite scriptures "Though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our momentary troubles are achieving for us a glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes on not was is seen, but what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary and what is unseen is eternal." 2 Cor 4:16-18
Today at church Pastor Kyung was talking about eternity in heaven. What came to my mind is the invisible world becoming a visible reality. Even though it is a reality, in heaven we will really SEE IT! WE WILL SEE JESUS! The invisible world will collide with the visible world in heaven. Now we only do see in part.
In the Psalm, David was secure. He lived in the visible world, but was protected & cared for by the invisible unseen God. He lived closely IN this inner life.

A Life more than Guidance

Something I wanted to remember...that is important...I read from a book I'm reading:

Just as character is revealed only when we are permitted or required to do as we want, so also the degree and maturity of our faith are manifested only in cases where no specific command is given. It is not a great and mature faith that merely does what it is told. Rather- in the words of William Carey as he went out to India as a pioneer missionary-such a faith is one that "attempts great things for God and expects great things from God." It actively gets on with the work to be done, the life to be lived, confident in the good hearted companionship of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Human initiative is not canceled by redemption, it is heightened by immersion in the flow of God's life. People with a mature vision of God and extensive experience in his ways have no need to be obsessively anxious about doing the right thing. For the most part they will simply KNOW what is right. But their confidence is finally not in a word from the Lord but in the Lord who is with us.

Comfort Zone

I went on a trip a week ago and spent 5 days wanting to experience where I was and yet at the same time, I was wanting to come home to my comfortable life. It was a good trip none the less and I got to spend good quality time with some remarkable people. But, I have to tell you...it was a challenge for me to be out of my comfort zone. Try putting yourself in a neighborhood where people have a hard life, buildings, homes, streets, & people are all broken & old, falling apart, & condemned, . Where every couple of hours you hear either a siren from a police car or the sound of an ambulance. Where every available space is used up and people are crowded on street corners. I felt I was transported to another world. I got to feel what it was like to live in someone else's world. It was far from mine. I had some fear. I had to get over it. It was okay. Jesus let me see how he loves us all for who we are; made in His image..not by where we live or even how we live our lives. He love us anyway. Not by what we have or don't have. None of that matters....each person's heart matters to God...the outward appearance of anything is nothing....God will lead us in it and light the way...no matter how dark. This world would sure be a better place if we would turn the light on in the darkness. He gave me that perspective. He gave me peace, compassion & love to replace my fear. His perfect love casts out fear. He's helping me to look for what's in a person's heart & give them His no matter how uncomfortable the ZONE.

Building the team

Sunday after church the team met over my house and we all shared out testimonies to one another. This was a great ice breaker. Listening to each person, with tears and laughter, I am just thrilled how God has intertwined our lives and will use us to help a hurting heart to heal. Our first meeting really shook a few of us as we watched a video of some pretty troubled youth dealing with drugs, cutting, alcohol, and divorce. We could see this wasn't going to be just a learning bible study, but one that would take alot of prayer, passion, & persistance. We may not be counselors and have our lives altogether, but we are being obedient to what God has called us to do. Each one of us is being called to a higher level of obedience and dependence on Him. We are all in new territory. We've all been either that kid that needed someone to reach out to us or have given a left arm to have had our own children apart of this bible study.
If you know of a troubled youth who needs help, consider mentioning Life Hurts God Heals to them. It could very well save their life, give them life tools, & be a safe place to share and to be themselves...and mostly give their lives to Christ.

The Miraculous finding!

Last night we went out to dinner with our son. I was delighted that he had called me and wanted to spend time with his father and I.

When we got to the restaurant, we parked the car and locked the doors. Once inside, the hostess walked us to where our son was seated so we could join him. I distinctely remember I laid my keys at our table & left for the restroom. I left my purse in the car because I didn't want to bother with carrying it.
You see, to save some time, I picked my husband up in the front our home so we could be on time to join our son. I never got out of my car. I did however, have to clear off the seat of a couple of books & my purse before he sat in the passenger seat. I put them all in the backseat.
Anyways we enjoyed our steak dinners at Logan's Roadhouse & hearing all the latest from our son. We invited him to go with us on a trip to Ireland this summer. I wanted a cup of coffee and I told them if we were going to sit there a little longer, I'd like to get a cup. We DECIDED to leave the restaurant & go to the Starbucks around the corner for a latte. We left the building and I NOTICED our son jumping into his car to follow us and I NOTICED he was parked facing us & one row to the right of us. There wasn't a car directly to the right of my car. I remember this because that is where my son walked to get to his car and where my husband got in on the passenger side of my car as I unlocked it for him. We got to Starbucks and I DECIDED to grab my purse to pay for everyone's latte because my husband had just paid for our dinner. I couldn't find my purse. I couldn't figure out where it had gone because we had locked the car doors at the restaurant and I knew I didn't bring it in. Immediately I freaked out thinking the worse of my credit cards and checkbook being stolen. My husband SUGGESTED we go back to the restaurant and ask them if anyone turned in a purse. As I approached the parking lot, my husband also SUGGESTED I park at the same area I had parked earlier and we could look around just in case my purse was laying on the ground somewhere mutilated. I pulled up in the exact parking spot and looked around briefly of the parking lot and then went inside and no one had turned in a lost purse. As I walked outside and got closer to my car, I noticed something underneath a car parked two rows beyond my parked car; and as I got closer I realized it was MY PURSE underneath the car! I grabbed it in total shock and was even more shocked to find it untouched!
We can't figure it out....all I know is that the decisions we made brought us back to my purse. I'm glad I decided to pay for our coffee, I'm glad my husbands suggestion to go back to the restaurant & his suggestion to park in the same area happened. If we had made other decisions, my purse would have really been lost!
I know, I know....this still doesn't explain how my purse got there in the first place!

Evaristo's 40th Birthday Party

POOL OF SILOAM
JOHN 9
Tonight I attended a birthday party of a dear friend to me and to many others. I've known Evaristo for many years. If you go to the downtown McKinney square you may see him hanging out somewhere. He's got friends all over town! Some pretty prominent people were at the party along with a host of business owner's, members of his family, nieces, nephews and cousins. Even the Mayor & Fire Marshal were there! He has touched the lives of so many in different ways. There had to have been about 100 people present.
Evaristo was born on this day March 12, 1969 with Cerebral Palsy. He can't talk to you, but after you get to know him a bit it's amazing how you can figure out what he's trying to tell you. Most often, he'll be sitting somewhere relaxing in the sun and I come rushing out of the building from work and I hear him yell to me only the way he can. He is so special. We sit and talk sometimes & we have lunch together sometimes. I've met his family & have visited their home his church had rebuilt for his family. Over the years I've driven him to where ever he's needed to go & we pray together on numerous occasions. I've even given him a massage that he just loved! What a blessing that was! What a blessing the Lord has given us folk who work on the square!
Tonight at the party when I arrived they had just started presenting him with gifts. Many talked about how they met him or what he meant to them personally. Before I left the house, I thought a second of what I should bring to him as a gift. I went straight to the shelf of one of my most treasured possessions. I picked up the little bottle of the Jordan River water and put it in my pocket. When I presented it to Evaristo, I was astounded at what came out of my mouth. Just last night, my husband and I had read Joshua 4 and at work today during some free time, I was reading a book that was also talking about that same chapter. So when I went in to the party, it was fresh in my mind and heart.
God so publically displayed His glory in that place through the words He put in my heart....scripture...Hidden in my heart.... you could have heard a pin drop!
Evaristo believes in God and that God not only parts the waters for those who believe, but that those who have faith as small as a mustard seed can tell a mountain to move and it will move. But for some...like Evaristo....he climbs the mountain everyday WITH his Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. I believe thats what God was telling us all tonight. We may have limitations with our physical bodies and our prayer to have it removed might not happen, but it doesn't mean our faith is small, it only means that we climb above it victoriously!
What a great God! Happy Birthday to Evaristo! I thank you for teaching all of us how to live victoriously through watching your life! Could it be that someone like Evaristo was born to display the glory of the Lord like the man born blind from birth in the book of John? i would like to think so. I thank God for Evaristo. What a mountain top birthday party!
As he went along, he saw a man blind from birth. His disciples asked him, "Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents, that he was born blind?" "Neither this man nor his parents sinned," said Jesus. "but this happened so that the work of God might be displayed in his life. As long as it is day, we must do the work of him who sent me. Night is coming, when no one can work. While I am in the world, I am the light of the world." John 9:3-5

Que'Tal What's Happening?

There's alot happening! 1.The Brook Ministries may have found the Land! I've started a folder with floor plans & spa ideas for The Brook Spa!
2.The new job is coming along slowly as I build my client base. My time management skills have really been stressed & challenged, but I think in the near future are some good changes in that regard.
3. I've got a fantastic team of people (along with myself)who are going to lead a youth bible study (Healing Ministry) this summer at Grace Community Church in Plano. It is called "Life Hurts God Heals" It's for middle/high schoolers. The kids don't have to be a member at Grace to attend. It will be starting in June! God has so prepared the way for this particular ministry to come about. And now, it is finally happening!Let me know if anyone would like information about it.
4. My husband & I have done well with our 2009 commitment to read through the bible together everyday. We just finished Deuteronomy. Weeks back reading in Exodus, I had a dream about the breastpiece that Aaron was to wear when entering the Holy of Holies. It was about the gemstones all over it. The dream was about decisions I make without consulting with the Lord first. I woke up with a repentant heart!
5. I made it through Spanish 1 and I bit off more than I can chew with taking the Soteriology class. I over loaded my schedule.
6. And oh yes, my goal for 2009 is to be debt free. I have just paid off 2 bills! Just 1 more to go which will take a while. It will be good when this burden is lifted!

I'm Good & Tired!

It sure has been a while since I've posted on here. My daughter & grandson came to visit and we celebrated his 1st birthday. We had a house full and it was so good to share this day with family, friends, & relatives. They stayed almost 3 weeks. I took my daughter out shopping and we spent all day at the mall. She just loved it. I wanted her to feel special and buy her something new. One night she wanted to go to a club with some friends and I let her use my car. She told me she just wanted to be with friends and she wouldn't even have one drink. Now that's just too good for me. It did my mother heart good to see how much her life has changed and what a good mother she is. She's finally realized that she is happy without any help from artificial stimulants! Her brother came over too and we helped him get his car running again. That boy is surprisingly dedicated to school and work and doesn't have a whole lot of time for play. I admired his idea of taking off this summer before he resumes school in the fall to dig deep after having completed all of his basic classes. He's taken his time getting there. Three years is alot more patient than I would be to not miss a summer class and at it for 3 solid years. He's incredibly determined. He really fits the bill of slow and steady wins the race.
We had to put our dog down old Mr. Feshi. He was 19 yrs old. We miss him and we had many years to enjoy him.
My husband & I started our spanish 1 class this week and it is exciting to learn & I'm glad we are doing it together. I also started back up at the theology program and on class #5 Soteriology (the study of the doctrine of salvation & sanctification) on top of starting a new job this week!

Just a quick catch up...I'm off to bed
God is good ALL the time

Talking to the Cat on New Year's Eve!

It was New Years Eve and my husband and I had gone out to dinner and came back home and did our usual year end prayer and discussed & wrote down the goals we have together and individually. It's going to be a great year! After that, he was tired and went on to bed. I did my usual bible reading. I'm a night person for sure! Anyways, after that I went into the hot tub. My cat Persia is 15 years old and lives in the hot tub. She likes to walk around the perimeter of the hot tub and then sits on the cover (I open it halfway when I'm by myself) and she wanted me to rub heads together. She likes to do that and she loves it too when I pet her and get her forehead all wet. She likes the water, always has. There was a party going on at my neighbors behind us and to the left. Anyways as the parties going on I'm thinking about my cat and rubbing heads with her and I started thinking about how old she was and I told her outloud "Persia, you and I have been together for a long time; we have made it another year!" I then started remembering a specific time when we lived in Wheaton Illinois back in '94. Persia wasn’t even a year old yet. She had climbed up my neighbors tree so high that she was higher than the house! She was waaaaayyy up there. Their dog was after her, which sent her high tailing it up the tree. I quickly got the ladder and braced it on the tree and climbed up it and then climbed up the tree from there to her. I remember thinking at the time that I had to reach for her up over my head and that she was really going to have to trust me and know that I could save her. She let me get her and I remember wrapping my arms around her. I thought, she has trusted me ever since.
Okay, back to the hot tub....that's when God said to my spirit "Yea Kel, you were in a pretty bad spot yourself with no where to turn but to me." “You trusted me and I wrapped my arms around you and you’ve been trusting me ever since." I felt His warmth wrap around me there in the hot tub with Persia and I thanked God for all the wonderful memories of yesterdays and all the years since & for that very moment! I thanked him for always wrapping me in His love.